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Vanessa's Personal Story

The seeds of codependency were in me all along, for you see my parents taught me well about caring, doing good for others and giving to be helpful.

The behaviors were so transient I never would have noticed them or labeled them as possibly codependent. However, later in life I became a full blown codependent. I was distraught, stressed, struggling in relationships and sought counseling. It didn’t take the therapist long to recommend I attend their codependency group. I hesitated, kinda both ashamed and horrified at this—wtf was happening? But I joined. I stayed in that therapy group for over 2 years. It totally transformed how I thought about giving, caring, self care, stress and so much more. It’s only because of the worst experience of my life, and the healing that followed, that allows for me to be with you now. Because of my inner transformation, and my professional training in therapy and social work, I am now an expert in codependency ready to guide you on your own path of healing.

About Soul Amplified

Soul Amplified is here to make the world a more beautiful, soulful and peaceful place by helping women heal their codependency using psychology and spirituality.  Women who are codependent tend to:

  • Hold back their light
  • Stay silent when they want to speak
  • Question their intuition and truth
  • Save others or over give—without replenishing their own cup

Soul Amplified teaches these women how to feel confident in choosing themselves.  Release the guilt of not always giving to others before themselves and that choosing their passions is not destructive to others.  Choosing their perspective, truth and voice makes them more alive and able to serve from a full and overflowing cup.  Once the Soul Amplified sisters incorporate this—they go realize their passions and change the world!  Do you want to be in the Soul Amplified Sisterhood?

Vanessa's Professional Bio

In my heart of hearts, I am a social worker not only because of my Master’s degree in Social Work, but also because the ethics and mission that underscore social work still inform my choices and path. My career has included a smattering of group homes, being a caseworker at Head Start, working at adoption agencies and providing therapy for low-income teens. I have worked with preschoolers, teens, young parents, adoptive & birth parents, domestic violence survivors and more.

All of this informed my perspective of human development; how a person becomes who they are. Based on my professional and personal experiences I’ve seen how broadening options, love and giving people chances to be more than they were presumed to be can change people. I know that with commitment and support anyone can set their life on a new course.

In 2012, I started my private therapy practice. I continued to help people transform their lives, deepen my understanding of trauma and develop my personal interest in spirituality. I discovered I wanted to branch out into on-line services while going deeper into one aspect of human transformation—codependency. Soul Amplified was born, using psychology and spirituality to help women heal codependency using a collection of coaching, products, webinars and training.

Now I am here, with you, ready to walk with you as you untangle this part of yourself. The codependency touches more parts of you than you might realize, but I’ve walked the path. I am ready to walk with you!

What is Codependency?

If you would prefer to listen to similar information rather than read it, you can listen to episode 100 from January 6, 2020 of The Soul Amplified Podcast here.

Codependency has many faces and definitions.

The one I use most frequently is this:

“Codependency is the need to serve others at the expense of yourself to fill a deeper need to be loved, accepted and liked.”

Other terms you may have heard are—people pleasing, enabling, being a super helper, ‘saving’ others or having ‘projects’ in people, being a ‘yes’ woman, neglecting your own needs or wants, frequently feeling like you ‘should’ do this or that. You may feel a need to control others, to save them, or find yourself acting like a victim. The result is giving up what you want, ignoring your needs, being unaware of your own needs, or you may tell yourself they are less important than other’s needs.

Codependency is not something you are born with, rather conditioning from childhood experiences. It is a coping mechanism that has helped you survive, even thrive, in an environment that was missing something.

You are more likely to be codependent if you were raised by people who had the following behaviors: alcoholism, addiction (drugs, sex, gambling, etc), unmanaged mental health/health issues, or not processing their emotions. This means that sometimes you, as the kid, had to learn to cope and deal with a shit ton of emotions that you were unequipped to manage.

How does Codependency
affect you?

If you would prefer to listen to similar information rather than read it, you can listen to episode 100 from January 6, 2020 of The Soul Amplified Podcast here

How does one heal Codependency?

You must decide you want to focus on yourself and unravel how you got where you are. Once you have committed, there are really 2 pillars of change that Soul Amplified focuses on for your transformation.  One is Self Care & Awareness, and the other is Boundaries.

Self Care & Awareness

There is so much personal neglect in codependency, it must be undone.  Knowing your own preferences, values, and your thought process—all of this is very illuminating. 

Examining yourself so you can think for yourself on a deeper level also leads to discovering your dreams.  You will, undoubtedly, discover that you want more.  

Learning to know what you want, aside from what others want, is core.  Wanting things that may bother others can be terrifying to you right now.  I guide you along this path, and help you get to where you feel you deserve what you want, even when it is bothersome for others.  When you arrive, you will be ready for it.  And your life will open up beautifully.

Working with Soul Amplified will help you see how truly worthy you are.  Because I truly believe you ARE worthy just by your soul existing and being born!

Boundaries

Boundaries are limits you set with others so they cannot encroach in the space you need to be your core self and live your life.

Eventually, you will set boundaries that not only allow you to ‘break even’, but to thrive. Can you imagine thriving? Combining Boundary Setting and Self Care & Awareness can give this to you.

There are many types of Boundaries, and there are many ways to set Boundaries. If you would prefer to listen to similar information rather than read it, you can listen to episode 54 from December 25, 2019 of The Soul Amplified Podcast.

Types of Boundaries:

  • Conversational/Verbal
  • Physical Self
  • Emotional
  • Spiritual
  • Sexual
  • Material/Physical Space
  • Mental

The way you set boundaries are usually one of three ways: verbal, behavioral or with time. Once you’ve identified what’s important, you can start telling others and putting essentially safety fences around what is important to you. Changing what is allowed through these methods lets others know you are expecting them to respect what is in the fences as much as you do. This allows those things to flourish, grow and thrive. Others may or may not want this. I am here to help you through each aspect of Boundary Setting, as that is what my coaching clients get from me!

Combining Self Care & Awareness and Boundaries creates a powerful transition into knowing who you are, what you want and how to tell others to back off so you can get where you are trying to go!